Can Purell be used as lube?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
