Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
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Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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