you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
