I will die if light touches me.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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