ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
