awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
