he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
