he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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