If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
