office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
