Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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