summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
