i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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