Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Randomize
