If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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