hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
