Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
