i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
