help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
