Don't you send me to vm
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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