just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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