I bet he comes in French.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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