i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
