I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
