Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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