For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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