Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
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Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
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Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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