You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Randomize
