Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
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