I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
