It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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