so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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