Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
