Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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