I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
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sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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