is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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