come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
