Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
