why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
