he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
