She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
