Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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