So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
