he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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