If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize