So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
