Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
