Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
