This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
You're earring is so big in my mouth
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
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i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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