No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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