She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
