Where is the hickey?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
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