VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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