lets start a swedish sibling band together
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
