sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I can't turn off my feet"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
