Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
