are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
