CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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