Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
