hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Oh god it's open bar.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
