We got so high we made milksteak
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
