:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
