She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
