That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
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A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize